Let me know if you need me

LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ME (E A D G B E)

Let me know if you need me. Let me know if you find anything.

Let me know when you learn how to read minds. Let me know when you know what’s inside mine.

 

Let me know if you see me. Let me know if I start to fade away.

Let me know if you find on the street and you’re not sure if I’m ok.

Let me know if there’s something I’m supposed to know.

 

Let me know if you’re melting. I must admit I’m pretty hot.

Let me know if I’m doing something wrong. Let know if I should never have been here all long.

Let me know if I get better. Let me know if you do, too.

Let me know if you need me.

There's this thing called the human heart

THERE’S THIS THING CALLED THE HUMAN HEART (E A D G B E)

Logic don’t make it true. No one knows what to say.

But somehow, we are together. We don’t need to have a point.

But there’s this thing called the human heart. No one knows what makes it beat. You were right, you were never wrong.

 

Running doesn’t make sense unless there is a bear at your back.

In which case, I sympathise. I have been running from that bear, too, most of my life.

But there’s thing looming in the sky. An imposter among the stars.

It is singing; it is calling out. It is too good be true.

 

And I know the more that I think, the more that I stink. The more that it hurts.

So I am conducting an experiment and stopping short of everything I know and believe to be true.

But there’s thing called emptiness. In the night it gnaws at my chest.

And I worry my human heart won’t make it to morning.

We haven't failed

WE HAVEN’T FAILED (D G D G B E)

If we sleep in who will tell them? Why don’t we try to let go?

If we ask them they’ll probably tell us. But do we really want to know?

 

Should we do things we don’t want to? It depends why we don’t.

If you’re worried would it help you to know that I am, too?

 

We convince ourselves we don’t want it.

It’s how we tell ourselves we haven’t failed.

Sinking, too

SINKING, TOO (D G D G B E)

It’s hot shower season. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. I’m blowing nose and biting my nails.

We’re falling from the trees like birds who have forgot how to fly. I’m running the dirt, now. Tripping in the mud.

And while everyone around comes crashing down, I’m watching through the window; a TV show I can’t turn off.

 

It’s hard to believe it. It’s hard to see the light in anything. Do they really find it funny? Did it really make you cry?

If everything is melting then I may as well be burning too. But I’m not even sweating.

And while everyone around comes crashing down, I’m watching through the window; a TV show I can’t turn off.

 

And while everyone I know is looking at each other.

I am drifting like a boat without an anchor.

 

If everyone is drowning then I may as well be sinking, too.

In the right place at the right time

IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME (D G D G B E)

It didn’t look much from here. I hardly heard anything. I hardly looked up.

We could’ve been anywhere. You could’ve been anyone.

But we rejoiced as everything crashed. Everything that I thought could never happen to us.

I am not waiting now for the right place and the right time.

Because, when the sun goes down, the waves keep breaking. I can hear them calling. I know they are talking.

 

Can only ever happen once. Can never be repeated. It’s why they say:

Nothing is left over; nothing is left behind.

But on your shoulder, something like a whisper turns itself to you and suddenly you have a choice.

They’re telling us how. It’s not the right place or the right time.

Because, when the sun goes down, the waves keep breaking. I can hear them calling.

 

This is what they’re saying:

 

There is nothing quite like the end and you have been a beautiful friend.

There is a moment where we’ll find ourselves in the right place at the right time.

A big favour

A BIG FAVOUR (E A D G B E, capo 4)

(Italicised text taken from Yukio Mishima’s Confessions of a Mask)

I can’t keep up with time anymore. Like paddling out and never making it past the shore. Losing sight of both where I stared and where I want to be.

I can’t keep on making the same mistake. Like I’m the only in the world who’s to blame. But I am the only who has to go sleep each night.

 

I’m not talking because I don’t know.

I move slowly because I never want to leave.

Listen closely, it’s the only way we’ll ever know.

 

I took it for an ill-omened sign that the richly blessed sunshine should fall upon me thus, that my heart should be this filled with moments that left nothing to be desired. Surely in a few minutes a sudden air raid or some equally calamitous event would come and kill us where we stood.

 

I cannot obtain the things I thought I once would. I cannot obtain the things I thought would make me happy. I am not the same but I don’t what has changed.

 

I’m not singing to please anyone.

I am leaving because it feels like I need to.

I am stinging, I am listening.

 

I’m not talking because I don’t know.

I move slowly because I never want to leave.

Listen closely, it’s the only way we’ll ever know.

 

Surely, I thought, we do not deserve even a little happiness. Or perhaps we had acquired the bad habit of regarding even a little happiness as a big favour, which we would (one day) have to repay.

Listen closely

LISTEN CLOSELY (E A D G B E, capo 4)

I can’t keep up with time anymore. Like paddling out and ever making it past the shore. Losing sight of both where I stared and where I want to be.

I can’t keep on making the same mistake. Like I’m the only in the world who’s to blame. But I am the only who has to go sleep each night.

 

I’m not talking because I don’t know.

I move slowly because I never want to leave.

Listen closely, it’s the only way we’ll know.

I return

I RETURN (D A D G B E)

When the rain fell, it fell quietly. Static obscuring the wind-swept street.

Against all odds, the ocean glowed green and blue. Defiant against the cold grey sky.

 

Against all odds, I know now what to do.

Circling back, I return to you.

Tired equals hurt more

TIRED EQUALS HURT MORE (E A D G B E)

And now I’m tired and I can’t find my rhythm. I see these things coming. I know they will derail me. I hope this time I can manage it more skilfully.

Trying to appease others who only make my heart hurt more. I see them coming like silhouettes on the wall at night.

And when the earth turns in the dark I feel carsick. I need to sit in the front seat.

And when the sun comes out after a dark and rainy night it only serves to hurt more.

Admit one

ADMIT ONE (E A D G B E)

Admit one, not two. I am alone, not blue.

It’s good to be here because no one wants anything from me.

And there’s nothing you can do about the way I feel.

 

Admit one, not three. I am at home, happy.

I’m not going out because there’s nothing there for me.

And there’s nothing you can do about who I want to be.

 

Admit one, not five. All I want to do is survive.

Watch the Panthers on Fox Sports. They won a premiership – I want one more (at least).

And there’s not much you can do when Nathan Cleary can kick like that.

I think he’s well on his way to becoming an all-time great halfback.

And I am well on my way, too.

Headlight carnation by e4 ft household item one and grace

The Brioche Breeze is proud to premiere an exclusive new track from e4444e (and friends). When Joey Brioche asked e4 about the new track he had nothing to say.

Forgetting troubles

FORGETTING TROUBLES (D A D F G E, capo 4)

I am not blue, I am not bored. I am not mad at myself anymore.

I am forgetting troubles. There by the door.

I am forgetting troubles. Can’t stand them anymore.

 

I am not down, I am not gone. I have a rock I can rest my head on.

I am forgetting troubles. Walking home.

I am forgetting troubles. Lonely but not alone.

 

I am not anxious, I am not worried.

I am not scared of whatever is coming.

 

Now I am happy, now I am glad. Now I’m awake I don’t feel so bad.

I am forgetting troubles. Stalked me all night.

I am forgetting troubles. No longer by my side.

I am forgetting troubles.

Walking home

WALKING HOME (D A D F G E)

The stars came crashing down. What felt like the hundredth time. I would’ve jumped out the window if there was one.

The road turned to water. A heavy, heaving river. We didn’t drown, but are we any better off?

I’m walking home. Day giving in.

Stalking shadows. My feet are bare and it’s getting cold.

 

The sky is empty now. I think we broke its heart. I would’ve given it back if I could.

This must be drowning. Though we could never really know. We could never understand.

I’m walking home.

Dimming, fading.

Day giving in.

Sinking into its seat.

Stalking shadows.

They skate down the street.

My feet are bare.

And it’s getting cold.

The Brioche Breeze 1.2 (March/April) Out Now!

The Brioche Breeze 1.2 is out now! Featuring a selection of March and April’s biggest hits as well as an exclusive track from regular contributor radarbackwards. Thanks as always to Adrianne and Joey Fucking Brioche for helping make this happen.

In Doonan

Doonan is a rural residential locality split between the Sunshine Coast Region and the Shire of Noosa, both in Queensland, Australia. In the 2016 census, Doonan had a population of 3,459 people.

Entering the night

ENTERING THE NIGHT (D A D F G E)

It’s calm and sunny but the rain is coming. Humming like a moth. Gnawing at the light.

I can feel them looming. A suffocating blanket pressing me like a cheeseymite sandwich in a toasted sandwich maker.

 

Alone but not really. The sky unravels as we walk deeper into its jaws.

An empty belly. Stars appear. Silence incrementally getting thicker.

 

Side by side.

Face to face.

Swallowing the light.

Entering the night.

Coming into the morning

COMING INTO THE MORNING (D A D G B E)

Coming into the morning. Diving into the water. Singing like a bird. Falling like a leaf.

Coming into the morning. Passing through the day. Learning from the darkness.

Coming into the morning. Asking for what you need. Thanking for what you have. Knowing you’ll be OK.

And as you come into the morning you are not alone. Look around and see: everything is familiar but nothing is the same.

The sky was purple

THE SKY WAS PURPLE (D A D G B E)

Constantly, I’m kept in line. I held my breath, like, all night. I don’t regret but I don’t feel fine.

Constantly, I’m pulled together. Searching for something like fresh air. If I could unravel I might feel better.

 

The sky was purple just for me. Just for a moment but you didn’t see. You didn’t notice I’d already left.

I went out to find that staircase. Climb it barefoot all the way. And the moon was so full it made my chin wobble.

 

You might not have noticed but I was always going.

The sky is purple and now we’re untangled.

I am the only one who won't let me down

I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO WON’T LET ME DOWN (D G C F A D)

I don’t believe in happy endings. I won’t ever be caught wishing. I don’t hope for anything.

I don’t think we should go home. I don’t think we should press on. I didn’t mind until you asked me. I didn’t care until you hurt me.

But I am sure of it now: I am the only one who won’t let me down.

I am sure of it now.

 

I don’t believe in gardens. I don’t trust those agapanthuses. I don’t think roses smell good.

I think sand is over the top. I think one or two is enough. They’re just old dead rocks getting washed atop one great big sod who refused to stop.

But I am sure of it now: I am the only one who won’t let me down.

I am sure of it now.

 

I know heaven is an ocean. I know no one else believes me. I know no one else can save me. I know no one else can hear me.

I know no one takes me seriously.

It’s how I know: I am the only one who won’t let me down.

Not coterminous

NOT COTERMINOUS (D G D G B D, capo 4)

We must look ridiculous from outer space. They must be laughing at us.

We must not run too fast or try to take too much. There’s not enough of us.

There’s not enough space in here. We’ve been forgotten about. We have to find our own way out.

 

Not coterminous. Not needing to be. Maybe in another universe.

Not so different to ours. Not so far away. Not so heavy and not so weird.

I can’t save anyone. I wouldn’t know where to start. I wish I’d known it all along.

 

I’m sure of it now: I am the only one who won’t let me down.